It seems hard to believe that discrimination against same gender couples might have struck in Canada, one of the few countries that have offered marriage equality inclusive of same gender couples.

Having decided to legally marry in Canada on Thanksgiving Day, November 23, we were excited.  Roby got online to contact marriage commissioners.  Following are the emails that transpired between Roby and Commissioner Heather Fletcher.  The initial email feedback from Heather was positive.  We then sent more info about ourselves to her.  We thought it might be good to know a little about the people she was to marry.  Suddenly, we received a short one line response from her, saying, "Sorry I am not able to do your ceremony."  The only thing we had asked to be different was the possibility of having the ceremony at 4 p.m instead of 3 p.m.  We wrote back, asking for some explanation and for references for other commisioners.  We never heard back from her. 

----- Original Message -----

From: Robynne Sapp

To: chlfletcher@shaw.ca

Sent: Saturday, November 11, 2006 9:27 AM

Subject: Nov. 23 wedding

Hi Heather -

 

We are looking for an "inclusive" Marriage Commissioner... (i.e. someone who celebrates marriage equality extended to same-gender couples.)  who can officiate our small ceremony in White Rock (on the Pier or on the beach) on Nov. 23rd - probably around 3:00 pm.   It'll be a very small one -- just us, our two witnesses, and our dog. 

 

Looking forward to hearing back from you.

 

Robynne Sapp & Dotti Berry

Blaine, WA

----- Original Message -----

From: Robynne Sapp

To: 'Heather Fletcher'

Sent: Saturday, November 11, 2006 11:27 AM

Subject: RE: Nov. 23 wedding

Hi Heather -

 

Thank you for such a quick reply! 

 

Dotti and I are sitting her talking, and we're tossing around a time change... 4:00 vs. 3:00.  Can you do that? 

 

We have been to the pier and the beach many times, and love it there... and you're right... it's not very private!  We chose the beach or pier because we feel it would be very interesting and ironic to be able to legally marry just minutes away from home, looking back over at our own country that doesn't grant us the freedoms, privileges and protections that are due us just by being American citizens.  We do a lot of writing (newsletters, essays, articles and blogs) and podcasting, so we'll for sure want to write and talk about this experience.  Perhaps you might know of a place that might grant us a bit more privacy while still being able to see Semiahmoo/USA?  We never "hide" from anyone, and so the fact that others might see us isn't a concern.  The only concern would be whether or not it would be free from too much distraction.  I tend to get distracted really easy, especially if people are watching me, and I want to be able to be TOTALLY present to our ceremony--vows, expressions, your words, etc..

 

And of course, it may well be raining that day... so we need to take that into consideration.  We're not opposed to umbrellas, but if you have a covered idea, let us know.  There are also some beautiful covered spots at the Peace Arch park that we may want to consider.  Dotti and I are going to go up on Monday to scope things out and get our license, so we'll let you know what we come up with.

 

Please do send us what you have in terms of ceremonies and vows.  We have been married twice thus far (March 7, 2004 in Portland, OR legally, and Semiahmoo Resort on July 31, 2004) and we'll be using some of our own stuff that we have previously used, but would be interested in what you have as well. 

 

If you'd like to read more about us, you can click on this link for our story.  You can also click here to visit the homepage of our website, where you'll find more information than you might care to know about us and what we've been doing in our lives, especially in the past year.

 

Our witnesses are going to be Kathy & Robert Reim from Sedro Woolley, WA.  Their daughter, Rachel, is lesbian and she married Tammy on July 4, 2006.  Dotti officiated their wedding and I was the photographer.  Kathy is the State Chair for PFLAG (Parents, Friends, Family of Lesbians & Gays).  Our own families do not support nor celebrate who we are or our relationship, so we have our "chosen family" who does.  My mom and dad live in Lynden, and although they are kind to us and enjoy being with us, they refuse to acknowledge our marriages, won't come to this one, and don't celebrate us (because of deeply held religious misinformation). 

 

So, if you can do 4:00 pm instead of 3:00, let us know.  We'd love to have you officiate.

 

Kind Regards,

 

Roby & Dotti

 

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