Frequently Asked Questions
- Why are you doing this journey?
We feel our country is polarized about the issue of inclusion, equality and justice for transgender, bisexual, lesbian, gay, queer and questioning people. We feel this polarization has paralyzed us. We want to bridge the divide, debunk myths, engage hearts and minds, create authentic connections and dissolve the differences that separate us.
- Are you all working?
Roby left her job of 20 years in the field of asthma and allergy. She most recently was in the area of clinical research. Dotti is a Life & Relationship Coach. She continues to coach clients while we are on the road.
- How are you financing your journey?
First of all, we sold a piece of property and got rid of a car. We are living very simply during this year long journey. We have our GISA apparel that we wear everyday, so we are not purchasing new clothes. We are fortunate that our purple suburban and Scotty trailer were donated to us by people who believe in what we are doing. As we mentioned above, Dotti is still coaching clients, so that income helps. We also receive, when it is available, an honorarium or love offering after speaking. Individuals also sometimes feel compelled to support our journey with a donation. That is always appreciated. Some have offered a monthly donation that they pay through Pay Pal. Click here if you are interested in discovering way you can contribute.
- Do you miss home?
Of course we miss aspects of Blaine, WA, such as our friends and our beautiful house. Home, however, is truly where we three, Roby, Dotti and Rylee Joy, are together. “Home” we can take wherever we go. That, we feel, is why it “feels like home” when we step inside our Scotty trailer at night. Make no mistake about it, however, we LOVE it when we are able to stay with people along the journey. Being welcomed into their homes is a privilege and honor. Plus…a bath in a regular size shower is a treat!
5. What is the most important thing you have learned thus far?
First, people want to connect with one another. They sometimes, however, impede that possibility by using one another’s differences as barriers to a greater understanding.
The second thing is that we actually NEED very little to live. Beyond food, shelter, and simple clothing, other items are things we desire, but are not essential to thriving in life.
- Do you plan to stop after a year?
Maybe…(: We will continue this work until the work is no longer needed. Whether that will mean we are on the road or at home, this is the beginning of the ending of injustice and inequality for all people.
- If your goal is to engage with people who are “wrestling” with their understanding of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons, why are you meeting with PFLAG and other affirming groups?
There are many in our own community, including allies, who continue to struggle with living authentic lives. Everywhere we go, people in the “supportive organizations” are often asking more of others than we ask of ourselves. We want others to take the risks, for example, of losing their jobs and/or family connections, but we are not willing to take that same risk. We realize that our community’s silence about who we are is as much a part of the problem as are those who deliberately speak out against us.
- Don’t you find it hard to talk with people who disagree with you?
No. When you commit to talking with people without attachment to a specific outcome, it frees you to engage in ways you might have never dreamed possible. This process also allows for engaging in such a way that leaves each party empowered.
- How do you defend yourself with somebody who wants to use scripture to say you are wrong?
We don’t. There is no need to defend if you have worked through your own internal homophobia/transphobia. We listen to others’ stories and also share our own. You can’t hate someone whose story you know. And everybody has a story. It either empowers you, or you use it as an excuse to be a victim. We certainly engage in dialogue about scripture, relating it to our own experience. That means that we share with people that we have already taken the journey and come to acceptance of ourselves and God’s love for us. If others have not taken that journey of specifically studying the scriptures and doing critical/historical exegesis, (the Greek and the Hebrew), then we let them know that we have available resources by theologians and direct them to those resources. Click here for Rev. Dr. Lisa Davison's "What the Bible Says/Doesn't Say about Homosexuality."
10. How is Rylee Joy enjoying the trip?
Rylee LOVES traveling and meeting people. Truly, Rylee Joy is our “connector.” She allows people to reach across our differences to often engage with us. Dogs and animals have a way of doing that. Rylee has written a few lessons, and is busy writing more. You can click here to read some of those. As well, she has her own picture album, where she puts pics of her new friends. We have decided that, in circumstances where Rylee (by law) cannot go (such as restaurants) that we should have a plastic dog on a plastic leash, and that we should have a button that says, “Ask me my dog’s name!” Dogs allow people to feel safe in approaching one another and begin a conversation based on the dog.
11. Do you ever get tired of each other?
Honestly? NO! We really enjoy one another’s company. We also give one another space while simultaneously being together. Sometimes we are talkative and sometimes we are quiet. The amount of time we spend together has definitely changed with being on this journey. Rylee Joy is our great “mediator.” Her mediation skills are the best. If we get a “tone” in our voice that is not pleasant to her, she will crawl up in the front seat and paw on Dotti, wanting to sit in her lap, until the climate in car shifts. There is no fooling Rylee.
12. Do you ever feel frightened for your safety?
No. We made the decision to take this trip, being who we are, wherever we go, in each and every situation…without consciously acting from fear. We feel that fear attracts fear. While we appreciate that some people have offered their “advice” about how to operate in certain parts of the country, we want to dispel those myths as well. There are good and just people in all parts of our country, and there are also some people who lack understanding about our community in all parts of the country as well. We have found out through our experiences on this journey, that the majority of people want us to have equal rights. Those that don’t, are actually the minority, albeit a loud and well-funded minority. If anything, this minority has held the majority hostage through fear. We don’t want to contribute to the climate of fear. Fear contracts and love expands. “We vow to create our world through the expression of our love” continues to be our intention.
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