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Lesbian couple try to spread tolerance on trip
2 Washington women speak at meeting here
Dotti Berry and Roby Sapp have spent many nights over the past six months in Wal-Mart parking lots.
They walk their black poodle, Rylee Joy, around the store and sleep in the 13 ½-foot trailer they pull behind their purple Chevy Suburban, which bears the words "GayIntoStraightAmerica.com. Two Women & A Poodle."
Since Sept. 11 the lesbian couple, from near Bellingham, Wash., and their dog have been traveling through "straight America" as part of a yearlong mission to create "connections with people who are wrestling with their understanding of gay, lesbian and transgender persons."
As part of the trip, called Gay Into Straight America, they spoke over the weekend at the monthly meeting of the Louisville chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. It is a special stop for the couple, who met in Louisville in 2001. At the time, Berry was living in Lexington and was in Louisville to visit a friend with whom Sapp happened to be staying.
Although their trip officially began last fall, the idea behind it was born around the time of their spiritual wedding in July 2004. At the ceremony, they vowed to "change the world through the expression of our love."
They had no idea they would be tested so soon after the ceremony. It was just a week later that they heard through a friend that there had been complaints in the neighborhood about too much "gay activity."
Instead of shutting themselves off, the couple invited their neighbors over for dinner -- Berry went door to door with red roses and then invitations on which were written, "How can we change the world if we don't know our neighbors?" That Sunday the couple had their answer when many of their neighbors showed up for dinner.
"It was the most wonderful time," Sapp said. "And ever since then, our neighborhood has never been the same."
Now they want to change the nation. They often start things off by telling their story at the churches, Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays chapters, Gay-Straight Alliance clubs and colleges. But such talks are not all their journey is about. It is also about conversations -- during which they discuss what it is like being a gay couple in America -- held at rest stops, restaurants and even on the streets. On a beach in Florida, where they stopped to take a rest, they said they had quite a few people approach them.
"We could have just set our lawn chairs outside the trailer and had conversations all day long," Sapp said.
One gay man wanted to thank them, someone else wanted to tell them about a gay relative and a couple from Washington state saw their Washington plates and wanted to say hello. Berry's business as a life and relationship coach and donations from friends and supporters keep Sapp and Berry afloat. Before they left home, Sapp quit her job as director of clinical research at an allergy and asthma center.
They said responses to their trip have by far been positive, with fellow drivers showing their approval with a honk and thumbs up, and members of local Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays chapters letting them stay in their homes and even sending care packages with candy and cookies to future stops.
They have given out or sold about 1,000 rainbow-colored wristbands and more than 50 T-shirts promoting their trip. But the journey isn't over, and those who know them know what they are doing isn't easy.
"I think it's a brave step that they are taking," said Lisa Davison, a professor at Lexington Theological Seminary, who met Berry in the late 1990s when Berry was living in Lexington.
Davison knows Berry has encountered discrimination and worries that her friend may encounter it again. But she also knows that Berry and Sapp are determined to make a difference and that many are looking forward to meeting them.
Carol Cadonic, president of the Louisville chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, is one of them.
"We're thrilled to have somebody of this notoriety come and speak to our group," Cadonic said. "They are putting a face on this issue."
Two, actually. And although their journey will probably end this fall, Sapp said, their mission will continue.
"It's not a midlife crisis," she said. "It's something better than that."
Reporter Katya Cengel can be reached at (502) 582-4224. |
