By Vaughn Roste
 
We've heard a lot about "biblical marriage" lately, largely as a defensive reaction against same-sex marriage.  I read one letter to the editor written by a Lutheran pastor that claimed, "the Bible clearly teaches that marriage is the God-ordained covenantal union of one man to one woman." How very applicable to the contemporary situation, I thought. If the Bible really teaches that (and in such modern language too!), then we all should be paying the Bible a lot more heed.
 
So I picked up my Bible and looked up all the passages that have anything to do with marriage (I had help: I used a concordance).  I examined the scriptural use of all the words I could think of related to marriage: marriage, marriages, marry, marries, married, wedding, weddings, wed, husband, husbands, wife, and wives.
 
All told, I looked up over 800 references. Exempting the references that are narrative (e.g. "Adam named his wife Eve" Gen 3:20) or metaphorical (Christ's marriage to the church, Rev 21:9), I was able to distill those 825 verse references into 12 general principles: 12 Biblical "rules" or guidelines regarding marriage that encompass the gamut of scripture. I hereby present the list, with the applicable references.

12 Biblical Principles of Marriage 
 
FIRST

Marriage consists of one man and one or more women
(Gen 4:19, 4:23,  26:34,
28:9, 29:26-30, 30:26, 31:17, 32:22, 36:2, 36:10,
37:2, Ex. 21:10, Judges 
8:30, 1 Sam 1:2, 25:43, 27:3, 30:5, 30:18, 2 Sam
2:2, 3:2-5, 1 Chron 3:1-3, 4:5, 
8:8, 14:3, 2 Chron 11:21, 13:21, 24:3).
 
SECOND

Nothing prevents a man from taking on concubines in addition to the wife or
wives he may already have

(Gen  25:6, Judges 8:31, 2 Sam 5:13, 1 Kings 11:3, I Chron 3:9, 2 Chron 11:21, Dan  5:2-3).
 

THIRD

A man might choose any woman he wants for his wife (Gen 6:2, Deut  21:11),
provided only that she is not already another man's wife (Lev 18:14-16,  Deut.
22:30) or his [half-]sister (Lev 18:11, 20:17), nor the mother (Lev 20:14)  or
the sister (Lev 18:18) of a woman who is already his wife. The concept of a 
woman giving her consent to being married is foreign to the Biblical mindset.
 
FORTH

If a woman cannot be proven to be a virgin at the time of marriage, she
shall be stoned (Deut 22:13-21).
 
FIFTH

A rapist must marry his  victim (Ex. 22:16, Deut. 22:28-29) - unless she was
already a fiancée, in which  case he should be put to death if he raped her in
the country, but both of them  killed if he raped her in town (Deut. 22:23-27).
 
SIXTH

If a man dies childless, his brother must marry the widow

(Gen 38:6-10, Deut 25:5-10, Mark12:19, Luke 20:28).
 
SEVENTH

Women marry the man of their father's choosing

(Gen. 24:4, Josh.15:16-17, Judges 1:12-13, 12:9, 21:1, 1 Sam 17:25, 18:19, 1
Kings 2:21, 1  Chron 2:35, Jer 29:6, Dan 11:17).
 
EIGHTH

Women are the property of their father until married and their husband after that (Ex. 20:17, 22:17, Deut. 22:24, Mat  22:25).
 
NINTH

The value of a woman might be approximately seven years' work 

(Gen 29:14-30).
 
TENTH

Inter-faith marriages are prohibited (Gen 24:3, 28:1,  28:6, Num 25:1-9, Ezra  9:12, Neh 10:30, 2 Cor 6:14). 

ELEVENTH

Divorce is forbidden (Deut  22:19, Matt 5:32,  19:9, Mark10:9-12, Luke 16:18, Rom 7:2, 1 Cor 7:10-11,  7:39).
 
TWELFTH

Better to not get married at all - although marriage is not a sin 

(Matt 19:10, I Cor 7:1, 7:27-28, 7:32-34, 7:38). 
 

How many of these Biblical principles are followed by Christians today? Not a single one [with the possible exception of number 3 - some Christian women may still have no choice in their marital partner!   Nowhere in the Bible does it say that "marriage is the God-ordained covenantal union of one man and one woman;" in fact, it says explicitly to the contrary! The Bible lists at  least 15 polygamists (not  including Herod, who is known from the historical - but not Biblical - record  to have had 9 wives), and in not a single place does polygamy carry with it any  sense of opprobrium. Unfortunately, the pastor mentioned above would have been far more correct to say that "the Bible teaches that marriage is a covenantal  union of one man to as many women as he
might want and can afford."

So, the next time your favorite politician or preacher claims to use the Bible in support of traditional marriage, ask him or her which of these 12 principles he or she is actually advocating.   Probably none!  Anyone who claims to use the Bible in support of a strictly monogamous union of one male and one female based on love, mutuality, and commitment will be hard pressed to find 2,000 year-old Bible verses in support of that very modern position. In fact, I daresay they cannot. The Biblical view of marriage is not monogamous.  It is not necessarily based on love, or on any amount of mutuality.  Most Christians  would consider these Biblical principles of marriage to be misogynistic and repulsive - and judging by today's standards, they'd be right. Views have changed since Biblical times, as has our concept of marriage.  Some would claim that this is the result of the Holy Spirit working in our world; most agree that just about  all of the changes are a good thing. But if we  concede that our concept of  marriage has evolved, is it not potentially  arrogant to summarily discount the  possibility that marriage should continue  evolving, or even that it might be  God's will that it do so?   From the looks of the above list, it's a good  thing our perspectives have  changed from the Biblical model. Thus as we  continue to dialog and prayerfully  discern God's will in the area of same-sex  marriages, we obviously cannot consider 2,000-year-old  statements made in other  cultures and contexts to be all that is important. Please do  not misinterpret  that I am claiming that the Bible is not important - of  course it is. It is central to my faith, as it should be for any Christian. But to rely on solely the Bible is to dangerously ignore two millennia of progress in the areas of science, technology, and  human rights, a sin which we dare not let ourselves  commit if the church is to remain relevant to contemporary society at  all.
 
To rely solely on Scripture for church policy is to ignore the possibility that the Holy Spirit has been active at all in the sixteen centuries since the canon was closed in 405 CE. Indeed, we need to consider that the Holy Spirit may be actively encouraging us today to move beyond a literal reading of the Bible and to refuse to become modern Pharisees.

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